Sunday, December 19, 2010

December 24, 2014: A Message from Madame President Sarah Palin

We have all thought about what the Sarah Palin Presidency will be like. For starters the obvious: no bowing, no fisting czar's, no wealth redistribution, no dithering, no enemy appeasement, no Marxism, no liberation theology, no bailouts, no collective salvation, no free Obama money, no comprehensive anything, and by all means the first spouse will not be allowed to wear clothing that resembles a cat pee stained sofa.

Can't you all just imagine Piper playing on the White House lawn with the puppies of those fluffy white and black blue eyed Iditarod sled dogs? Or Willow going to Prom? Trig's birthday party?

The Palin White House Christmas will be especially fun. Gone will be the days of Michelle Obama trying to shame teenage girls into eating disorders. Bristol, Willow, and Piper will be in kitchen baking cookies and making a ginger bread house.

Angels will be allowed again on the White House Christmas trees (which will again be called Christmas Trees; not Holiday Trees) in place of the left over Chairman Mao balls from the disgraced Obama's.

Michelle Obama is now back in Chicago and once again not proud of her country.

Then, on Christmas eve, Madame President Sarah Palin addresses the nation:

My fellow citizens. As Americans we all know that the unequivocal worth of a happy family is something that has not changed in human civilization. A family of grandparents, parents and children, together with their extended family and friends, is the cornerstone of a prosperous America. When Todd and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary we were devout and appreciative of the closeness and foundation of our own family as they joined us for the celebration. Now, this Christmas celebration, of course, represents the birth of Jesus Christ. Amid many things, the Christmas story is a story of family; a family going through a difficult time. The Inn had no room for Mary and Joseph; they had to fend for themselves in a stable, and the infant baby Jesus had to be placed in a manger. This family had been excluded. It may be because of this ancient strife that, throughout his spiritual leadership and pastoral care, Jesus of Nazareth interacted and was sociable with people that others condemned, scorned, and even hated.

As we celebrate Christmas with our families let us remember the glory and greatness of the family. The family is a pillar and key element of our society. As a Christian Woman, as a Mother, and as your President; I would like to use this Christmas Eve 2014 to honor our nation's Judeo-Christian foundation and reunite a family this Christmas.

Barack Hussein Obama became the forty-fourth President of the United States on January 20, 2009.

Pursuant to resolutions of the House of Representatives, its Committee on the Judiciary conducted an inquiry and investigation on the impeachment of the President extending many months. The hearings of the Committee and its deliberations, which received wide national publicity over television, radio, and in printed media, resulted in votes adverse to Barack Hussein Obama on recommended Articles of Impeachment.

As a result of certain acts of treason, bribery, and other high crimes and misdemeanors during the Office of President, Barack Hussein Obama has become liable to possible indictment and trial for offenses against the United States. Whether or not he shall be so prosecuted depends on findings of the appropriate grand jury and on the discretion of the authorized prosecutor. Should an indictment ensue, the accused shall then be entitled to a fair trial by an impartial jury, as guaranteed to every individual by the Constitution.

It is believed that a trial of Barack Hussein Obama, if it became necessary, could not fairly begin until a year or more has elapsed. In the meantime, the tranquility to which this nation has been restored by the events of recent weeks could be irreparably lost by the prospects of bringing to trial a former President of the United States. The prospects of such trial will cause prolonged and divisive debate over the propriety of exposing to further punishment and degradation a man who has already paid the unprecedented penalty of relinquishing the highest elective office of the United States.

Now, THEREFORE, I, Sarah Loiuse Palin, President of the United States, pursuant to the pardon power conferred upon me by Article II, Section 2, of the Constitution, have granted and by these presents do grant a full, free, and absolute pardon unto Barack Hussein Obama for all offenses against the United States which he, Barack Hussein Obama, has committed or may have committed or taken part in during the period from January 20, 2008 through January 20, 2013.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty fourth day of December, in the year of our Lord two thousand and fourteen, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-ninth.

Todd, Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, Trig, Trip and I wish all Americans a joyous Christmas, and a properous New Year.

God Bless you, and God Bless America.

AUTHORS NOTE: For reference and protocol The Presidential pardon sequence was inspired by President Gerald Ford.

Thomas S Schmitz

Palin Promotions


Follow me on Twitter: @ThomasSSchmitz

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