Friday, January 28, 2011

Sharks Are Not Misunderstood Dolphins, and Islam Is Not A Religion of Peace

By Kevin DuJan
January 28 2011

I've often been told rumors from very old, wise people about a time, long before I was born, when "Saturday Night Live" was both funny and relevant.  It's hard to believe, but in those unimaginably distant days deep into the past, Chevy Chase played a Land Shark who wore various disguises in attempts to break into people's apartments and eat them.  When subterfuge and gimmicks failed, he just lied and told various idiots he was a dolphin.

[Knock, knock]

"Who's there?  It's not that Land Shark I've heard about, is it?"

"Nope.  Just a candygram, Ma'am."

"Candygram?  I've never heard of such a thing.  I think you are that Land Shark."

"No, Ma'am.  I am just a misunderstood dolphin."

"A dolphin?  Well, okay then.  No cause for alarm if you are only a dolphin.  I certainly wouldn't want to appear to be species-ist by having reservations about trusting a dolphin."

In case you haven't seen it in late-night reruns, that scene ends with a monstrous foam shark head bursting through the door to devour Jane Curtin, Gilda Radner, Laraine Newman, Lily Tomlin, and other unsuspecting New York City victims in one hungry gulp.

Whenever there's a new Islamic terrorist attack somewhere in the world (and that's somewhat redundantly phrased because just about the only terrorist attacks that occur in this world are Islamic, unless of course you have heard of murder sprees the Amish and Buddhists often go on whenever someone draws a cartoon they don't like or names a dog after a self-proclaimed prophet they revere...oh wait, no, those are Muslims who do that, as usual...never mind), I always think of this dusty old SNL skit.  The American media deliberately plays the role of stunned bystander shocked that there really was a Land Shark at the door. 
Photo and article from An Anatomy of Surrender

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