The Statist's Ten Commandments

The STATE is the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of independence and personal responsibility.

1. Thou shall have no other gods but Me, for I, the STATE, have created thee in mine own image.
   
   
2. Thou shall not listen to Rush Limbaugh nor any graven image that doth resemble him in thought, word, or deed.
   
   
3. Thou shall not educate thine offspring, for these are the property of the STATE and as such are to be most jealously instructed in the doctrines of personal subjugation, anonymity, and worship of the STATE.
   
   
4. Honor thy President and all members of the Executive Aristocracy, remembering thy debt to the omnipotent social good.
   
   
5. Thou shall not criticize the STATE, nor any of the minions of the STATE, lest thou commit the civic offense of encouraging societal discord, and thereby bringing the wrath of the STATE upon your household.
   
   
6. Thou shall not think for thyself, unless it is to think of thyself as a victim.
   
   
7. Thou shall feel free to be unchaste or commit adultery, and expect the STATE to pay for your abortions as often as thou hast the need.
   
   
8. Thou shall not steal from thy neighbor, for this is a right reserved unto the selected elite of the representative democracy.
   
   
9. Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor, for this a right reserved unto the Fourth Estate.
   
   
10. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's house, spouse, pets, nor anything that belongs to thy neighbor, unless thou hast paid thy dues to ACORN.